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Hazel things. Just Hazel things. The Hazeliest of things. Spouting Hazel stuff. It’s getting Hazel up in here. Tussling up in the Hazel zone. No getting angry in Hazelvania. They’ll take your toes for that. I bet Hazel wishes they had a nice sweet red wine and some camembert about now. Hazel petted the meow-meow. Hazel petted the meow-meow too much and needs a band-aid. Hazel is, RUNNING AROUND AT THE SPEED OF SOUND. GOT NOWHERE TO GO, GOTTA FOLLOW MY RAINBOW. Hazel needs some me-time. Hazel keeps resting their foot on 40 grit sandpaper and needs another bandaid. Hazel has entered orbit. Approaching the speed of light in the most Hazel way possible. The council of the seven Elder Hazels has convened… after hours of deliberation, The seven Elder Hazels have determined that you smell of beans.
Hazel misses their wife… they miss him a lot.
You find yourself in a forest… In one hand you have a Mini kitty meow-meow, in the other, the finest of Aldi brand Sweet Red Wines. What do you do
Stick my face in the cat and sniff real hard.
The cat smells great! The best cat you’ve ever smelled. However, your eyes are watering, and your nose is now stuffed. You haven’t taken your antihistamine and regret it.
“Damn it all! This cat and I are gonna take on the world one highly affordable bottle of Aldi brand Sweet Red Wine at a time!” I take a swig of wine.
You are now drunk. How did you do that? The ABV was really low on that wine and it was only one gulp.
“Hey, now… hey… what, you think I’m some kinda… some kinda… ‘hic’… lightweight? Well, I’ll show you!” I start chugging the wine, wheee!
You stagger around berating a narrator that you really shouldn’t be cognizant of, while clutching a kitty meow-meow, and you black out.
You come to in a kiddie pool full of seals, wine bottle missing and your cat asleep on your chest…